Bottle vs Breastmilk, my experience.

Let me be clear, this is not going to be a post showing the pros and cons of either one. This will not make the case of which should you pick. This is however a post about my experience with my child on how we ended up being both a breastmilk and formula fed baby. I always had this vision that I was going to be this powerful, all-giving mother that was going to easily latch her child to her breast and provide all the nutrients that she needed. While pregnant I made sure to read all the books, I new what foods were supposed to help with milk production, I was ready! I registered for bottles because everyone suggested it, but I didn't think I was going to need them. I was always a 36DDD, my size didn't change with the pregnancy, but I felt that if anyone could breastfeed, it would be me. The day my little girl was born was on a Tuesday through C-section, after being in the hospital since Sunday evening, trying to induce labor. She was ready to come, but my body wasn't reacting and due to other complications, at 9:45am, I had my little girl laying on my chest. We were taken up to our room and after check ups and making sure my sutures were good, we were introduced to the breast feeding coach. After explaining the "football" hold, I placed my daughter's little mouth to my breast, only to begin to understand something no one tells you. Breastfeeding is frustrating. With the coach in the room, after what seemed like an eternity, my little girl was able to latch with only the help of a nipple shield. What is a nipple shield, you ask? Some women, their nipple protudes out enough that the baby can latch onto it without a problem. That wasn't the case with me. Ladies, size doesn't matter, but the shape does! The coach I had that day made me feel at ease, and explained that the little plastic cone that she put over my nipple would aid my daughter in latching, since it was clear to her that we had latching issues. Throughout that first day, with the help of the coach, my daughter had both breastmilk and formula, since between the C-section, the latching issues, and other complications, both the doctors, my husband, and I decided to do what was best for our little one. The second day they changed my coach. And the lecture began. "Don't get attach to the nipple shield." "Let nature take over." "Ignore her tears, don't give up, she will get the hang of it." So and so forth, to the point where I was so frustrated I turned to my mother and told her in Spanish, "Either you get her out of here nicely, or I will do so not so nice." My mother asked her politely to give us a break and called for our nurse on duty. That Godsend nurse called the old coach and got her on the phone, and not only did she calmed me down, but asked the nurse to get me a pump. I pumped milk for my daughter that day for the first time. I never saw that breastfeeding coach again. I was blessed with that first coach who understood what the problem was. Not many people were understanding, in fact, many gave advice on breastfeeding and tried to convince me that supplementing with formula was bad. Others tried to talk me out of breastfeeding because they thought it was too much frustration for me. I listened, cried, was frustrated, and at the end, did what I thought was best for me and my child. I found bottles that had nipples that simulated the texture and shape of a nipple. I continued using nipple shields when breastfeeding. I supplemented with formula because I never gave a lot of breastmilk, even when I pumped. In fact, even after doing all that research, eating and drinking foods that aid in breastmilk production, I breastfed and pumped until I dried up around month four. My husband dried my tears, became my biggest cheerleader, and showed me that he loved me, regardless of how my body looked or what it could or couldn't do. My daughter is now fifteen months, healthy, and eats all kinds of food. And whenever I feel sad because I wasn't able to breastfeed her for long, or frustrated because of the issues we encountered, all I have to do is look at her and know that she is healthy. I am still friends with what I called my "breastfeeding bullies" and "formula bullies", and even went so far as to talk to them and tell them how they made me feel. Happy to say that the reason we are friends is because they understood, apologized, and friendships have healed. Whether you only breastfeed, bottlefeed, or do both, just remember that the bottom line is to do what is best for your child and you. For those interested, these are the products I used: Medela double electric pump Medela hand pump Medela nipple shield PumpEase Hands-Free Pumping Bra Avent Anti-Colic Baby Bottle Niple Avent Anti-Colic Bottles