Wedding Wants vs Wedding Budgets

Hi everyone! I want to start this blog entry by apologizing for my absence. I know I haven't written in a while, but life is full of curve balls. But I am back! And yes, in my absence I have continued to help brides and grooms, I just hadn't been able to sit down and write. That being said, here goes my newest entry: WANTS vs BUDGET. Every couple that I have met in the past comes with a budget already in mind. Most of the time, they have discussed this budget among themselves. Other times, the bride has a budget in mind while the groom has a different one. Sometimes they have all the money already set for the wedding, other times they don't. Sometimes family and friends are helping them, other times, they are surprised along the way. One thing is clear though, every single couple has left out numerous things outside of their budget. Why? Because when they sit down to do their wedding budget (together or apart) they don't discuss what exactly they want their wedding to be. Here is what normally happens (this is based on numerous conversations with clients, so please keep in mind these are my observations). Usually, the bride and groom get engaged, they each talk generally about what they envision that day to be like, the bride tells her mom and friends, they immediately schedule a bridal gown appointment (or a series of them), they go look for a dress, and then they go check out venues after giving each other a $ idea of how much they want to spend, only to then be hit in the face with reality. They also go by the generic lists provided by numerous magazines, websites, and social media apps as to what needs to be included in that list of needs and the average needed to spend. So why is it that the weddings end up costing them more than they budgeted if they are following all those lists? Well, let's begin with that first talk of wedding planning between the bride and groom. What did you both envision that day to look like? How many guests? Location ideas? In state or out? Destination wedding or at home? Do we both have money set aside? Are our families going to help us out? You see, planning a wedding in terms of budget, is a project. Yes, for the bride and groom and families, it all will be a fairy tale on the day off. However, the actual steps before that are all determined by the delicate balance of WANT vs CAN vs NEED. Just because you want 200 guests at your wedding doesn't mean you need it or can afford it. Unless you are a bride and groom with an unlimited budget (AWESOME!), I suggest you start your planning by first making a list of what you WANT vs CAN AFFORD. This will all be based on that first conversation that you will have with each other. Be honest about what you can really afford. You may be wondering how you figure out what you need. By all means, feel free to use those lists provided by the magazines and social apps about what you need for your wedding, and how to budget, but remember this is all just to give you a starting point. There is a reason why people hire wedding planners, and its because a good wedding planner will make you a list of what you need based on your vision and tailor it to your budget. Many times brides and grooms come to be after they have hired and fired wedding planners or vendors because they were promised a vision at a budget and then extra costs starting showing up. I believe that a real planner will be honest with you and paint you a REALISTIC vision of your wedding. Another thing you need to do is window shop. Send messages to different vendors asking for price packages, reviews, and evidence of their work. Don't fall in love with the first location you visit. Sometimes all inclusive doesn't necessarily save you money, and sometimes it does. Go on wedding sites like The Knot and Wedding Wire and read reviews. Speak with other brides who have used vendors you are considering. When making the list of what you need for your wedding to make your vision a reality, its imperative that you be realistic about what you and your groom can afford. A beautiful memorable wedding can come at any budget, because at the end, all it takes is two people who love each other.

The dress costs how much?!?!?!

Every bride has a picture in her head of what her dream dress looks like. Don't believe for a minute that they don't, because they do. Some just have a picture that is what they think is THE dress while others show up with an entire Pinterest board that the consultant must piece together to decipher the final look. And that's great, we love a bride who thinks she knows what she wants. Unfortunately, that image in their head doesn't have a price tag until they get engage and come shopping for the real deal. Cue in the shock from both consultant and bride when the budget doesn't match the dream dress. The consultant's shock is due in part because they don't set the price but they pay a price when the tantrum comes. Brides, we get it, you want that dress that you've had in your Pinterest board since you said yes! So, in order to avoid further heartbreak, here is the breakdown of what you need to know before setting a budget for the dress. 1. When the consultant asks for your budget, please keep in mind that it's just for the dress. You on the other hand may believe that it includes undergarments (will explain in a bit, because depending on dress, these are needed and vary), alterations, veil, shoes, jewelry, and headpiece, or what we refer to in the industry as the SEVEN point sale. And if you didn't know this when you set your budget, then get your calculator out and alter that budget. They will never ask you upfront for your complete bridalwear budget because surprising you with these extra items is how they up the sale. 2. Cost of dress, veil, headpieces, and even shoes might seem high. This is determined by the materials and hours of labor and yes, designer name. It is NOT the consultant's fault that Pinterest showed your dress but not the price. When you start searching for the dress, do your research and check price of dress! 3. Undergarments. If the place you go to buy your dress offers you undergarments, that is a place that truly understands how a dress moves, how it flows, and most importantly, that you want to be able to walk comfortably down the aisle. They understand that you don't want to penguin walk, that you don't want a weird shadow in your pictures, that D cups and ups don't hold up a dress by gravity, and that ultimately you want to look and feel your best. So please, I am begging you, try on the dresses with the proper undergarments. The bras, the corsets, the slips! They will help give you that desired shape! I cannot stress this segment enough! 3. A mermaid dress might look like it's less material but that doesn't mean it should cost less than a ball gown. Silhouette doesn't determine cost. Materials do. If you are marrying outdoors in the summer, chiffons and cotton blends are more breathable and lightweight. Duchess satin is a heavier material but has a beautiful sheen that gets picked up by candlelight. Not all crystals shine the same, not all lace are made the same, and not all shades of white and ivory look the same. 4. Add an AVERAGE of half the VALUE of the dress to the cost of your dress. That will give you an AVERAGE cost of potential alterations. Please note I said AVERAGE, it could be more it could be less depending on fit and bustle. Let's breakdown fit first. We are all not made the same like the store mannequins. If you have to take out a couple inches at the bottom, if you have to take it up in the shoulders or in the sides, turn a zipper into a corset back, or add paneling on the side, this all adds up depending again on how it fits you and who your seamstress is. A good seamstress will charge for the work done and guarantee the job. Don't skimp on the alteration cost, you might end up having to get another dress. Now, the bustle. Unless you plan to drag your train all night long in the crook of your arm or let others just step all over your dress at the reception, get a bustle. This is a nifty little invention that seamstresses do to wedding gowns to pick up the train of your dress so you can dance the night away at the reception comfortably. 5. When you find that dress, nine times out of ten, they doll you up with a veil, headpiece, and shoes. In your excitement, you say yes to the entire look. I guarantee you will have buyer's remorse about one or all add on items. Here is why: you have no clue what your hairdo will be, what shoes might work for the venue flooring and your comfort/look, if you want a sash with a wedding color incorporated or to match the dress, you don't know if Nana's jewelry works better as your something borrow, etc. HOLD OFF buying these things until 4 months before the wedding. By then you will have a better vision of what you want your final look to be. And who knows, you might find them more affordable at another location. 6. Final budget point in terms of wedding dress shopping. Be realistic. When you sit down to calculate your beudget for bridal wear, include everything listed above and you will avoid surprises and heartache. The worst thing is to see. Bride find her dream dress but because she didn't budget correctly and forgot to add the extras, or she didn't do her research, she has to settle for a cheaper dress. And consultants, please, we know you are there to help, but be straightforward with your bride. It never hurts to say, " Do we have a budget for your bridal wear?", "Yes, we have that dress, however I don't want to break your heart, since it's over your budget. Do you still want me to bring it?". So there you have it ladies, the reason why you get sticker shock when buying your wedding gown. And remember, it normally takes depending on the designer, 5 months to a year to order a dress, plus tackle on at least a two month window for alterations. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you want to chat or have any questions you want answered! Thanks for reading!

Congrats, you are engaged! Now what?

You stared into each other's' eyes, the question was asked, and you said YES! If your engagement was private, you have a small window before the MOBS and FOBS attack, wanting to help you plan for the wedding, which you probably haven't even thought of the first 24 hours. If your engagement was public, may God have mercy on you, as the MOBS and FOBS have already swarmed you. Have no fear, I am here for the rescue! Let me first explain the MOBS and FOBS. MOBS are the lovely, sometimes (highly) opinionated Mothers of the Bride and Groom. Please note, not all MOBS will be overbearing and want to take over the wedding. In fact, many are very understanding that the wedding day is about their child (don't fight it, you will always be their child). However, there are a few, that for some reason, in their enthusiasm, begin helping and try and take over. Then there are the FOBS, friends/family of the bride and groom. They too sometimes tend to forget that its not their wedding. Many try to be helpful, and actually are, but you might find yourself having to remind them, its your day. Don't feel rush to have the answer to, "When is the wedding?". It is perfectly alright to be engaged and not have a date. In fact, the only thing you need to do with your fiance as soon get engaged is to enjoy the moment, the feeling and excitement that comes with being engaged. Do not let yourself feel pressured into setting a date or going dress shopping until you and your fiance have had a moment to sit down for the wedding talk. What is the wedding talk? It's the conversation you and your fiance must have in terms of what is the next step. Topics to cover must include finances, timeline, location, and both your and your fiance's wedding vision. When planning a wedding, many brides forget that this is not just their day, but the groom's day also. Is there a particular date that means something to you both? Who's paying for the wedding? How much time you have to plan? Do you want a small wedding, big wedding? What are the things that identify you as a couple? Once you have sat down and established what you both want for a wedding, what your budget is, and what date you are wanting to get married, it is time to shop. But don't get excited, I am not yet talking about the dress! I'm talking about a wedding planner or assistant. Someone who will take on the stress of the planning off your shoulders, who will respect your vision and budget and help you achieve your dream wedding. Many people often wonder why hire a wedding planner, when they can do it, or a family/friend says they will pitch in. A good wedding planner has vendor connections that can end up saving you money. They will make the phone calls and speak with the vendors for you, help you narrow the searches, and even help you negotiate. They will make sure your bridal party get their attire in order and run everything smoothly the day of the wedding. The first couple of days after getting engaged are a jumble of emotions. It is a lot to take in and it all might seem overwhelming. Just remember, enjoy the feeling with your fiancé, everything else will fall into place when it needs to! And remember, any questions, I am here! Cecilia

Welcome to Bridal Mondays!

Hello brides, welcome to my first official Bridal Monday blog. Many of you have been following my tips through my personal facebook page or have hired me to be your bridal assistant. For those who do not know me or of my experience with brides, I figured why not tell you a little of my experiences. My journey into the world of bridal began through fashion. I have ten years of experience in the retail world, helping every day ladies find how to express themselves through what they wear. It all begins by looking at yourself in the mirror and accepting the skin that you are in, accepting what a strong woman you are, and how you want to showcase yourself. My clients would range from women needed help creating outfits for interviews and business trips, to changing entire wardrobes, and help planning outfits for vacations and honeymoons. Until one day, a long time client got engaged and asked me to tag along in her wedding dress shopping. At the time I was taking a break from what I like to call "mall retail" and was searching for my next adventure. Talk about being overwhelmed! And I wasn't even the bride! Seeing her pushed into a fitting room, dresses thrown at her by the retail assistant, family members, and friends, all I could think of what how do I save her! There has to be a better way. And this girl had read every bridal magazine out there in 48 hours, looked like she had done her homework with her little binder of pictures, but no one was listening to her or helping her. Two weeks later I got a call from the store that I had ordered my maid of honor dress for another wedding, and I went to pick it up. Buying that dress was completely different, since I barely got any help from the associate. I assumed that since I wasn't the bride, I (along with the associate assigned to help me) wouldn't need help. That day, as fate would have it, I walked away with my maid of honor dress and a job offer! And all after complaining about my experience! I went from dressing women for everyday events to dressing them for the most important day of their lives! For three years, I had the wonderful experience of working with an average of four brides a day helping them find their dress, coordinate colors, dress their bridal party, and even go to their weddings. I also had the wonderful opportunity to participate in bridal shows and for some wonderful brides, earn their trust and coordinate their entire wedding. Maternity came to my life and I chose to stay home and raise our daughter Genoveva. But I missed my brides, I missed my fashion ladies. Through this forum, I can reconnect with you all, still offer you bridal guidance and aid! So every Monday, I will give you tales and tips on how to get the wedding dress without being overwhelmed, how to plan you wedding without breaking your bank, and how to keep up with the wedding etiquette of the times! Thank you for allowing me to enter your bridal planning through this medium. Let's start planning! Cecilia