Bottle vs Breastmilk, my experience.

Let me be clear, this is not going to be a post showing the pros and cons of either one. This will not make the case of which should you pick. This is however a post about my experience with my child on how we ended up being both a breastmilk and formula fed baby. I always had this vision that I was going to be this powerful, all-giving mother that was going to easily latch her child to her breast and provide all the nutrients that she needed. While pregnant I made sure to read all the books, I new what foods were supposed to help with milk production, I was ready! I registered for bottles because everyone suggested it, but I didn't think I was going to need them. I was always a 36DDD, my size didn't change with the pregnancy, but I felt that if anyone could breastfeed, it would be me. The day my little girl was born was on a Tuesday through C-section, after being in the hospital since Sunday evening, trying to induce labor. She was ready to come, but my body wasn't reacting and due to other complications, at 9:45am, I had my little girl laying on my chest. We were taken up to our room and after check ups and making sure my sutures were good, we were introduced to the breast feeding coach. After explaining the "football" hold, I placed my daughter's little mouth to my breast, only to begin to understand something no one tells you. Breastfeeding is frustrating. With the coach in the room, after what seemed like an eternity, my little girl was able to latch with only the help of a nipple shield. What is a nipple shield, you ask? Some women, their nipple protudes out enough that the baby can latch onto it without a problem. That wasn't the case with me. Ladies, size doesn't matter, but the shape does! The coach I had that day made me feel at ease, and explained that the little plastic cone that she put over my nipple would aid my daughter in latching, since it was clear to her that we had latching issues. Throughout that first day, with the help of the coach, my daughter had both breastmilk and formula, since between the C-section, the latching issues, and other complications, both the doctors, my husband, and I decided to do what was best for our little one. The second day they changed my coach. And the lecture began. "Don't get attach to the nipple shield." "Let nature take over." "Ignore her tears, don't give up, she will get the hang of it." So and so forth, to the point where I was so frustrated I turned to my mother and told her in Spanish, "Either you get her out of here nicely, or I will do so not so nice." My mother asked her politely to give us a break and called for our nurse on duty. That Godsend nurse called the old coach and got her on the phone, and not only did she calmed me down, but asked the nurse to get me a pump. I pumped milk for my daughter that day for the first time. I never saw that breastfeeding coach again. I was blessed with that first coach who understood what the problem was. Not many people were understanding, in fact, many gave advice on breastfeeding and tried to convince me that supplementing with formula was bad. Others tried to talk me out of breastfeeding because they thought it was too much frustration for me. I listened, cried, was frustrated, and at the end, did what I thought was best for me and my child. I found bottles that had nipples that simulated the texture and shape of a nipple. I continued using nipple shields when breastfeeding. I supplemented with formula because I never gave a lot of breastmilk, even when I pumped. In fact, even after doing all that research, eating and drinking foods that aid in breastmilk production, I breastfed and pumped until I dried up around month four. My husband dried my tears, became my biggest cheerleader, and showed me that he loved me, regardless of how my body looked or what it could or couldn't do. My daughter is now fifteen months, healthy, and eats all kinds of food. And whenever I feel sad because I wasn't able to breastfeed her for long, or frustrated because of the issues we encountered, all I have to do is look at her and know that she is healthy. I am still friends with what I called my "breastfeeding bullies" and "formula bullies", and even went so far as to talk to them and tell them how they made me feel. Happy to say that the reason we are friends is because they understood, apologized, and friendships have healed. Whether you only breastfeed, bottlefeed, or do both, just remember that the bottom line is to do what is best for your child and you. For those interested, these are the products I used: Medela double electric pump Medela hand pump Medela nipple shield PumpEase Hands-Free Pumping Bra Avent Anti-Colic Baby Bottle Niple Avent Anti-Colic Bottles

Congrats, you are engaged! Now what?

You stared into each other's' eyes, the question was asked, and you said YES! If your engagement was private, you have a small window before the MOBS and FOBS attack, wanting to help you plan for the wedding, which you probably haven't even thought of the first 24 hours. If your engagement was public, may God have mercy on you, as the MOBS and FOBS have already swarmed you. Have no fear, I am here for the rescue! Let me first explain the MOBS and FOBS. MOBS are the lovely, sometimes (highly) opinionated Mothers of the Bride and Groom. Please note, not all MOBS will be overbearing and want to take over the wedding. In fact, many are very understanding that the wedding day is about their child (don't fight it, you will always be their child). However, there are a few, that for some reason, in their enthusiasm, begin helping and try and take over. Then there are the FOBS, friends/family of the bride and groom. They too sometimes tend to forget that its not their wedding. Many try to be helpful, and actually are, but you might find yourself having to remind them, its your day. Don't feel rush to have the answer to, "When is the wedding?". It is perfectly alright to be engaged and not have a date. In fact, the only thing you need to do with your fiance as soon get engaged is to enjoy the moment, the feeling and excitement that comes with being engaged. Do not let yourself feel pressured into setting a date or going dress shopping until you and your fiance have had a moment to sit down for the wedding talk. What is the wedding talk? It's the conversation you and your fiance must have in terms of what is the next step. Topics to cover must include finances, timeline, location, and both your and your fiance's wedding vision. When planning a wedding, many brides forget that this is not just their day, but the groom's day also. Is there a particular date that means something to you both? Who's paying for the wedding? How much time you have to plan? Do you want a small wedding, big wedding? What are the things that identify you as a couple? Once you have sat down and established what you both want for a wedding, what your budget is, and what date you are wanting to get married, it is time to shop. But don't get excited, I am not yet talking about the dress! I'm talking about a wedding planner or assistant. Someone who will take on the stress of the planning off your shoulders, who will respect your vision and budget and help you achieve your dream wedding. Many people often wonder why hire a wedding planner, when they can do it, or a family/friend says they will pitch in. A good wedding planner has vendor connections that can end up saving you money. They will make the phone calls and speak with the vendors for you, help you narrow the searches, and even help you negotiate. They will make sure your bridal party get their attire in order and run everything smoothly the day of the wedding. The first couple of days after getting engaged are a jumble of emotions. It is a lot to take in and it all might seem overwhelming. Just remember, enjoy the feeling with your fiancé, everything else will fall into place when it needs to! And remember, any questions, I am here! Cecilia

Which version of you are you dressing

For fourteen years I have dressed women of all body types, ages, styles, and for so many different occasions in their lives. From jury duty to weddings, romantic getaways to divorce parties, one thing all these women had in common was that what they saw in the mirror never matched the image of themselves in their minds. It's the cursed Snow White moment of "mirror mirror on the wall, show me what I think I look like". Women go through more body changes than any other living creature ever!!!! You get boobs in all sizes, you get waists in all sizes, hair sprouts in places you never imagine, you have mood swings due to hormones, childbirth affects your body shape, chemo affects your body, boob jobs (good and bad) affect your body, you name it! So when you go to a store and you have associates who look like they haven't had a decent meal in ten years and the first question out of their mouth is, "What size are you?", is it a wonder that many of you run for the hills? Fighting the "standards" of the fashion industry is an uphill battle that we all feel we will never win. So instead, create your own standards!!!!! Before getting dress, doesn't matter if you are staying home or going to work, stand in front of a mirror. And please, do this alone, no kids, no hubby, no one! Take a good look at yourself and accept what body type you are. Own up to your curves and lines and embrace them! The standard size is NOT what you see in the runways! The standard size nowadays is size 16! The average bra size is 36C! Every day, before you get dressed, even if it sounds like a drag, look at yourself in the mirror and accept whatever size you are, whatever shape you have. And then proceed to dress the body that you currently have!!!! I promise you, trying to hide your body behind clothes only makes you accentuate it. When shopping to revamp your wardrobe or just to start a wardrobe from scratch, do NOT take friends. I know its fun shopping with friends, but the problem many encounter is that they will try to dress you in what they want you to wear, and not necessarily what you want or feel comfortable wearing. Do not be afraid to tell retail associates to back off or to help you. They are there at your disposal. Go with a plan! Look at the store's websites, check out the sizes before you go in, look at how the outfits are put together, and put your own spin. Choose style icons! We women plan for everything, why not plan for the amazing woman you are dressing. Clothes are a way of expressing yourself, so why not let the world know that you are curvy, beautiful, and the best version of yourself!

Shopping for maternity clothes

You are pregnant! Congrats! Let's go shopping for maternity clothes! Grab you wallet, and let's go! You will need so much stuff! STOOOOOOOOOOOOP! Grab a hold of your wallet and senses and sit down. Being pregnant is a wonderful experience, full of many emotions, but it is also a costly one. The last thing you need is to go crazy buying clothes that you will probably only wear 4-5 months, depending on how your body changes throughout the pregnancy. But you will need maternity clothes, don't fool yourself. And one thing I could never abide by, is not to dress for the body you have, even when that body is carrying another little body! The first thing I did before going to get maternity clothes was to look at the months I was going to be pregnant so that I could determine what maternity staples I would need based on weather and occasions. I didn't start to really show until month five, and living in Florida, shorts and tshirts made the list, summer dresses, and light sweater. Because I was working full time, suitable work pants and tops also made the list, along with a possible sweater/jacket. Pajamas and sweats for the house also made the list, because lets face it, pregnant women need to be comfortable. Be honest with yourself when maternity shopping. Do you really need ten pairs of shorts, six jeans, twenty tops, five dresses? Every pregnant woman's list will be different because it will all be based on your needs. I bought three pairs of shorts, two summer dresses, two black pants (dress code at work was all black, boring I know!), five tops for work, two dresses for work, and two jeggings. I didn't get the light sweater because some of the sweaters I had at home still work, even when I was pregnant. I had a lovely associate at The Motherhood store who helped me pick pajamas that ended up doubling up after the delivery because they were "breastfeeding friendly", so in the long run, they saved me money. The tshirts I purchased (three), were all basic colors that I could accessorize with scarves, jewelry, or different cardigans and sweaters. I didn't get a jacket until almost the end of the pregnancy, because as my father once said, Florida weather is like an angry woman, you just never know what you get everytime. Don't go shopping for maternity clothes with friends, because everything looks cute, and they will want you to leave with the entire store! Find an associate at a maternity store who you trust, but be upfront with her on what you need, what you are looking for, and what your budget is. I was lucky to find an associate at The Motherhood in Citrus Park Mall who not only respected my budget, but understood my needs. And keep in mind, just because your friend who is pregnant is showing more belly than you, so she bought something, doesn't mean you need it too. Every belly grows differently. If you are pregnant and in Tampa and need help shopping for maternity clothes, I am here for you! Cecilia

Being a first time mom... after 30s!

Dear reader, In addition to being obsessed with fashion, bridal, cooking, and reading, I am obsessed with one other beautiful little thing, my daughter Genoveva. Now, every mother swears their child is the perfect angel on earth, that pregnancy was flawless, delivery was ALMOST painless, and staying home with the baby was the easiest decision. You know, urban myths. Here's my story. Morning sickness kicked in during month 3. Yes, it affects at any time of the day. Yes, I tried almost every remedy recommended. Yes, the husband did hold my hair, so you may ooh and aah as you picture it. Only days that I didn't get it, when I would have soda crackers with butter and chocolate milk at 3am. But please, don't think of what I just mentioned as a cure for it. It lasted until month 6, then picked up month 8, and disappeared at the start of month 9. Cravings are real, but not crazy. Mine included as mentioned soda crackers with butter, oatmeal, Chinese food, Grimaldi's pizza, and chips ahoy. Couldn't stand the smell or taste of Chipotle, and for those who know me, Chipotle was a staple once a week at work. To give it up for nine months was amazingly easy but disconcerting. Coffee was not entirely given up, because the doctor knew I would die, so I was reduced to decaf coffee, which was sent by mail from Puerto Rico, (my parents spoiled me that way). I was told a number of times that I was lucky because I didn't swell up, I didn't look really pregnant, and many people didn't even realize it until month 6 or 7. Being pregnant at 33 came with some known risks, since I have a heart murmur, but the one thing that really stuck and I hated was the, "Awe, you are over 30 so here's a list of things that can go wrong." Being told that my age was a factor on whether my baby would be born with Down Syndrome was one of the biggest scares my husband and I had. Let's just say that its not a voicemail that should ever be left. We chose to accept whatever God sent us. My iron was always a little low, so I had a chance to eat some really good steaks, and ladies, yes, you pee a lot when pregnant because you have to drink a gazillion gallons of water a day. I literally worked at my job up until the day before I was scheduled to go to the hospital. Again, because of my age and another complication known as an irregular shaped placenta, I was scheduled to be induced. My last month of pregnancy was one of whirlwind moments. We closed on our house October 30th, cleaned and painted the new house November 2-10th, packed it all up and moved November 11th, worked up until the 14th of November, and went into the hospital November 15. My loving mother, sister, brother in law, and my best friend upacked my entire house and set up the baby's room for me. Meanwhile, my husband and I joined the future parent's club at the hospital awaiting for our baby girl to come into the world. By November 17th, I was tired of the hospital, tired of ice chips, tired of medications, tired of the bed, and just wanted out!!!! We made the informed decision for the health of the baby and mine to have a C-section. She came loudly screaming into the world November 17th at 9:45am weighing 7.15lbs, 22 inches of joy. Recuperating from the C-section was easy. Recuperating from postpartum depression was a daily struggle. There were days when everything was perfect. And days when you look at yourself in the mirror and no longer see yourself. Choosing to stay home with my child was the best decision we could make, but what no one prepares you for is that your identity changes. I was no longer an Assistant Manager at a bridal store, I was no longer dressing brides or helping to plan events. I was smack in the middle of feedings and sleeping schedules, and breast feeding failures, and not recognizing the body that was in the mirror. And yes, you read correctly, breast feeding failures, a topic I promise to go further into detail on a next blog, but needless to say, my daughter thrived on both breast milk and formula until I dried up. Lack of sleep, little adult interactions besides the occasional friends and family that would stop by, not having to dress up, everything takes a toll. And like many, the added pressure of being "over 30" and that you should have your life figured out only adds to the stress. I was lucky. I have a husband who understood, who cheered me up, and who dried my tears and loves me in the new body that maternity left me. I had a wonderful support system of family and friends who saw through the wall I tried to build and who gently laid those bricks down. And I learned to love the new title of Stay at Home mom. Most importantly, the title of Mom Over 30 didn't scare me anymore. One look at Genoveva's smile and I am back to being in love with being +30. Motherhood is a beautiful mess. One that takes tears, courage, smiles, occasional breakdowns, and lots of caffeine. My journey is only 14 months, one which I will document here on what I will call Mommy Wednesdays. Hopefully, one day, Veva will read and see what joy she brings to my life. And for all those mommies who are scared or happy and need to share or just be listened to, I'm here, listening. Thanks, Cecilia

Welcome to Bridal Mondays!

Hello brides, welcome to my first official Bridal Monday blog. Many of you have been following my tips through my personal facebook page or have hired me to be your bridal assistant. For those who do not know me or of my experience with brides, I figured why not tell you a little of my experiences. My journey into the world of bridal began through fashion. I have ten years of experience in the retail world, helping every day ladies find how to express themselves through what they wear. It all begins by looking at yourself in the mirror and accepting the skin that you are in, accepting what a strong woman you are, and how you want to showcase yourself. My clients would range from women needed help creating outfits for interviews and business trips, to changing entire wardrobes, and help planning outfits for vacations and honeymoons. Until one day, a long time client got engaged and asked me to tag along in her wedding dress shopping. At the time I was taking a break from what I like to call "mall retail" and was searching for my next adventure. Talk about being overwhelmed! And I wasn't even the bride! Seeing her pushed into a fitting room, dresses thrown at her by the retail assistant, family members, and friends, all I could think of what how do I save her! There has to be a better way. And this girl had read every bridal magazine out there in 48 hours, looked like she had done her homework with her little binder of pictures, but no one was listening to her or helping her. Two weeks later I got a call from the store that I had ordered my maid of honor dress for another wedding, and I went to pick it up. Buying that dress was completely different, since I barely got any help from the associate. I assumed that since I wasn't the bride, I (along with the associate assigned to help me) wouldn't need help. That day, as fate would have it, I walked away with my maid of honor dress and a job offer! And all after complaining about my experience! I went from dressing women for everyday events to dressing them for the most important day of their lives! For three years, I had the wonderful experience of working with an average of four brides a day helping them find their dress, coordinate colors, dress their bridal party, and even go to their weddings. I also had the wonderful opportunity to participate in bridal shows and for some wonderful brides, earn their trust and coordinate their entire wedding. Maternity came to my life and I chose to stay home and raise our daughter Genoveva. But I missed my brides, I missed my fashion ladies. Through this forum, I can reconnect with you all, still offer you bridal guidance and aid! So every Monday, I will give you tales and tips on how to get the wedding dress without being overwhelmed, how to plan you wedding without breaking your bank, and how to keep up with the wedding etiquette of the times! Thank you for allowing me to enter your bridal planning through this medium. Let's start planning! Cecilia